Friday, July 12, 2002

todays three major events:

- PJ is out of big brother, kate survives, yeah, kate kicks ass
- My three year crush is unaware of my pitiful existance
- I am officially going to Prague


Today was eviction day on BIg Brother, my favourite Kate was up for nomination against PJ, who although cute is a bit annoying, However he is out and all is good.
Last night I was happily in my PJs watching Big Brother with my mum when lindsay texted me informing me of the my biggest crush had walked into Le Winters and was sitting opposite them. So I jumped up, sprinted upstairs, flung on the clothes on the floor and ran down the street to Le Winters. Sat and shit myself for a few hours whilst sneaking peeks at michael, mmmm, he still does it for me in a big way even though I haven't seen him since before I went to Canada!!
Finally convinced myself that I HAD to at least work up the bottle to say hello, so forced myself to walk up to where he and his friend were sitting and promptly realised when they turned around that
- he was sitting with a girl and not just any girl but the ex
- he didn't remember me

the girl looked at me like I was the biggest dweeb to walk to earth and he said "oh yeah you were at that fist aid course"
I kept beaming manically and said "er, yeah, so i just thought I'd say hello..........bye"
and ran away to where lindsay, lisa and kirsty were pissing themselves laughing at my patheticness.
I mean, really, i was like a scene from one of those teen movies where the dweeb approaches the georgeous one that is impossibly out of their league, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Lastly, to end on a postive note, I just booked my flight to london and ruth just booked the flights to Prague so I am DEFINITELY going, woohoo!!!!

Monday, July 08, 2002

For anyone who wonders why I teeter on the brink when it comes to Will...............

>===== Original Message From blackr =====
>hey Will
>hmm, well, offering an olive branch as you can see.
>I wish all the stuff that went on in may hadn't of happened, I really
>appreciated ur friendship and being able to talk to someone the way I was
>able to talk to you in college.
>I'm sorry for losing my temper, I would really regret losing the friendship
>we had, because although there are other people in college I am close to,
>theres none that i trusted and could be quite so open with as yourself.
>Its hard to admit this, you know with the whole pride thing but I felt it
>should be said, ignore if you want, accept the offered olive leaf if you want,
>I just think there are some people you meet in life whom you shouldn't let
>go of.

Dear Rebecca,
My soul is full of discord and dismay. I just feel that if you wait until the time and place are right, wait for the one, and not the only, that true love blossoms in the strangest of places. If dreams came true then the whole world would be catatonic; don't you think?

Ignore the above paragraph. I just laughed so hard at the Dawson's Creek-ishness of your e-mail I felt obliged to write something that sounded like I had my head firmly gripped between my arse cheeks so that you might realise how truly funny it was for me to read your apologia.

Ignore the above paragraph. I just can't say anything to you without taking the piss in some way, and, extending to e-mail as this compulsion does, I had to mock how cerebral and serious you were trying to sound. I mean - "There are some people you meet in life whom you shouldn't let go of"???!!! Darling, please - it's me - don't bulshit the biggest bullshitter you're ever likely to meet.

Ignore the above paragraph. I was just trying to an entirely derisory rejection of your very admirable and welcome though unnecessary attempt at a reconciliation. If you've read this far you're eith very puzzled, laughing your ass off, or crying out loud.

Ignore the previous paragraph. I'm thankful that all the the stuff in May happened - it will make us better friends in the long-term. I also appreciated your friendship, and still do. There's no need to apologise for losing your temper - your loss of it was entirely justified. As for the pride thing, it's nice to see you're working on it! I'm sincerely sorry for forcing you into an untenable situation. I'm also grateful that you had the sense and the courage to put some space between us when I didn't. I love you.
If you want to meet up sometime over the next week (if you're still in Dublin, of course) then give me a call or something. It'd be nice to see you again.

Don't ignore the above paragraph.

Mein Arse tut mir weh,